Written by D.L. Hughley & Matt Wickline, Directed by Peter Bonerz

Guest starring Tom Wilson as Stan, John Webber as Walter, Bill Stevenson as Cheesy Pete

Co-starring Preston Wamsley as Ronnie, Connor Matheus as Otto, Tricia O'Kelley as Debbie, Jamie Alexis as The Big O, Julius P. Madai as the Man

"Bad enough we gotta sleep on floral sheets and there's pot-pourri in my underwear drawer." -Dave
"Y'know, Vonnie does that too. Got my butt smellin' like cinnamon." -Darryl
"Mine's sandlewood." -Dave
"Man, that's more information than I needed to know about y'all." -Milsap

"Eh, did you know that the oldest written record is a recipe for beer?" -Milsap
"Well, the second musta been a fake I.D." -Darryl

"Don't sing and can't run. How am I gonna make a livin' now, 'Sap?" -Darryl

"I gotta go. See, I promised my wife I'd rob a liquor store on the way home." -Darryl
"Yeah, good. That way I can get my third strike and got to the pen and finally meet my daddy." -Milsap

"Oh, Dave, you ARE going to Michael's Cheesy Pete's party, aren't you?" -Yvonne
"Aw, you know what? I would love to, but I gotta stay home and pound a bunch of three-penny nails in my head." -Dave

"How am I supposed to know if someone's a racist? What do you want me to do, Darryl, take a survey? Hey, listen, do know what the weather is going to be like tomorrow, and by the way, do you like black people? Y'know, what? That's a nice car. You ever chase black people with it? Hey fella, nice shoes. Y'know what? When you kick a black guy, do you use the right foot or the left?" -Dave

"Wow. What was all that pent-up masucline aggression about?" -Sally
"I dunno, but you know none of this would be happening if L.A. had a football team." -Yvonne

"Why do we have to reasonable all the time? Hey, what do you say we ruin next week for them by having a knock-down drag-out cat fight?" -Yvonne
"Yeah.... Nah. It'd just turn 'em on." -Sally