Written by Al Sonja L. Rice
Directed by Mark Cendrowski

Guest starring

Patricia Belcher as Jessie Mae

Milsap: "That is one cultured woman. Last night at dinner, she ordered in French, and she sent the wine back because the cork looked dry."
Darryl: "It had a cork?"
Milsap: "That's right."
Darryl: "You big old player."

Filmore: "I don't know where I found the time between this and opening up my new boutique, The Perfect Pillow."
Sally: "Finally, a store that weeds out the bad pillows."

Darryl: "Watson, come quick, I've invented phone sex."

Milsap: "I'm gonna use the auction to impress Erica."
Darryl: "Oh yeah, what you gonna bid on?"
Milsap: "Everything."
Darryl: "Oh, that's good, 'cause chicks love dumb broke guys."

Yvonne: "How come some women can do it all?"
Darryl: "'Cause they're gymnasts, honey."

Sally: "Dave, you've been here all day. Are you ever coming home?"
Dave: "Not until you learn to fry with butter."

Yvonne: "Mmm, that's delicious. What is it?"
Jessie Mae: "Chocolate-covered butter."

Jessie Mae: "This is my looks-like-a-white-woman-from-behind wig."
Darryl: "See, I buy that... in the dark... with a small shrub covering your behind."
Jessie Mae: "I've gotta go, so I don't have time to tell you how short you are."

Sydney: "Here, put on your buttercup beret."
Darryl: "Not even if you dye it black and put a fist on it."