Quotes from My Horny Valentine


Yvonne: I wonder what he's gonna give me for Valentine's this year.
Darryl: You want a hint? Look under the covers.
Yvonne: Oh, no you don't, 'cause I fell for that on my birthday.
Darryl: No, baby, that was "blow out the candle." This is completely different.

Sally: You are so nasty.
Darryl to Yvonne: Well, I told you, if we can hear them they can hear us.

Darryl: What the hell is this, a SCUD missile? No, baby, I ordered a nightgown. This... this is a mistake.
Yvonne: Yeah, you mean a mistake with "real piston-like action."
Darryl: Well, it can't be all bad. The woman in the photo is enjoying the hell out of it.

Darryl: I gotta get Yvonnie something really nice.
Dave: Well, hey, we got a Home Depot right next door.
Darryl: Dave, it's Valentine's Day. The only lumber involved will be my own.

Yvonne: I wonder, honey, if the sex was gone, what would we have?
Darryl: I don't know about you, but I would have a girlfriend.

Yvonne: She said we could have a serious problem and not even know about it.
Darryl: Girl, that's the best kind of problem to have.

Yvonne: I just want to see what would be there if the sex was gone.
Darryl: My grandparents!

Yvonne: You give up sex, you have energy for so many other things!
Darryl: Yep, I got more zip than the Energizer bunny... except my batteries are blue.

Milsap: What's going on? You two seem busier than a pallbearer at the Kennedy compound.

Darryl: I gotta probe I love Yvonnie by not touching her.
Milsap: Well, that works for me and Halle Berry.

Yvonne: Ass.
Darryl: Not tonight.

Yvonne to Darryl: Oh, you are not gonna wear your hair in those twists and call me fat.

Darryl: By the way, Dave, the line is "Who's your daddy?" not "Who's your father?"
Sally: Apparantly, you've never seen The Thornbirds.

Yvonne: Milsap, one day you gonna have some little bald-headed kids and I'm gonna git you f'this.


Back to episode info