Quotes from Guess Who's Coming Out for Dinner?


Mr. Park: Good morning, neighbor. Is your husband home or did he not make bail this time?

Mr. Park: Hughley, good one. Very funny man. And got rhythm too.

Darryl: I hate that guy. He's a pain in my left ass."

Mr. Park: Meet your new president of pain.
Darryl: What?
Mr. Park: I'm your worst nightmare, Hughley, an Asian with a ticket book.

Michael: Daddy got a ticket.
Darryl: You know, Daddy's got a belt and a temper too.

Darryl: When did everybody in my life start sounding like a rerun of "The Andy Griffith Show?"

Darryl: Sydney has to hang up now. Yes, the nuns are here to shave her head.

Sydney: Trevor's not like that. He's gay.
Darryl: Tell me that "gay" is suburban for happy.
Yvonne: Well, I've met Trevor, and he's not just happy, he is th-rilled.

Darryl: Now it is really bad. All I'm gettin' is ABC.

Dave: An alternative lifestyle is moving to a cave in Utah and living off Elk.
Sally: Your brother is gay?

Darryl: I've gotta get my kids out of that fruit-growing school.

Mr. Park: Your shrubs, too brown. Your skin, too, too brown.

Darryl: Oh my God, my son's a Trevor.

Yvonne: Milsap, the power lines over your mama's house? Were they way up there, or could you feel 'em hummin'?

Darryl: Does this belt go with these shoes?
Michael: How should I know?
Darryl: You shouldn't! All right, what do you think of Barbra Streisand.
Michael: I can't stand her.
Darryl: And to think, I was worried.
Michael: She's just a poor man's Bette Midler.
Darryl: Go to your room!

Dave: Mr. Park will be able to sleep in his own bed tonight. That oughta make him happy.
Joanie: I doubt it. He hasn't been happy in seventy years.

Milsap: I do not have time to discuss the Darryl Hughley masculinity index. I have mums a'wilting.

Darryl: How come you can't fall asleep in your food like a normal old man.

Darryl: There's a big difference between picking cotton and picking which night you want to see Barry Maniolow. When cops showed up at our marches they came with dogs, not a construction worker and an Indian singing "Y.M.C.A."
Joanie: So, you think my life has been easy.
Darryl: No, no, but with all the new laws it's got to be gettin' easier. I mean, you're a woman, you're a minority and you're gay. Girl, all you need is a leg brace and no one could ever fire you.

Joanie: What do you say to a black man in a three-piece suit?
Darryl: What?
Joanie: Will the defendant please rise?
Darryl: No you didn't!

Mr. Park: The heart is a very durable organ.


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